My Pen Name

It’s been a joke really to have a pen name like sisa fajar, for a man like me. I don’t know somehow the name seemed feminine to some people. When I first learnt to chat l named myself ‘stillasrock’. Same situation, at times I was mistaken for a woman.

Sisa Fajar is from my real name Aziz Jaafar. I decided to use sisa for 2 reasons. I’ve been wanting to take after my dad. He looked totally different from me and he was a cool man. He had plenty of friends too, and indeed he was a friendly man. Not to mention how good looking he was. He looks like a man from Turkey.

I choose the name sisa because somehow I thought during the creation of me the process may have screwed up somewhere that the remnants of unwanted genes were all collected and they assembled into me. I came out totally not looking like my brothers. I inherited traits of different sort from them.

Fajar is just Jaafar on the opposite. I looked at my dad as if he was the first light of the day. It brings about much pleasant to life itself. I really wanted to be like him but I just can’t. I have to be me that I am still searching for.

When my writing was first read by a few friends, one of them thought it was a woman’s. I had a poem publish in a few other blogs, a number of commentors thought I was a woman.

Until lately I was thought of as a gay. With due respect to the gay community, but I am not one of them. When asked for proof it seems like might as well you take as I am a gay. Even if we go to bed together, for a woman, and the end of it, you may claim me being bisexual.

It sounds like a joke. It is a joke but calling a person as such is not a real good joke.

Well, I’ve been called so many names anyways!